i feel like i'm in a hopeless situation.  well perhaps not hopeless.  maybe futile is a better word.  i don't think the situation is hopeless, but the fact that i am still holding on to it and trying to make the best out of it, is hopeless.  it seems like i'm been wandering down a dark hallway lately with a flashlight in my hand.  i keep the flashlight off, thinking that eventually my night vision will kick-in and i'll be able to see.  but instead of my night vision kicking in, I just keep walking blindly down the hall, banging into obscurely placed objects and cursing to myself.  

i like how i try to paint a picture of what i'm feeling with far-fetched examples.  i do it as a protective measure.  maybe if you can figure it out, than you can figure me out.  maybe i just want someone to ask me what it all means.  

what does it mean?